Every day, I fought with the CreateSpace file review system over the cover for my paperback of Bless the Skies. Though CreateSpace repeatedly approved my cover, the digital proofing system showed me terrible-quality renderings of the artwork, with pixelated white lines stitching up all the seams between graphic elements.
I continually harassed my poor cover artist Andy Tripp, demanding file after file for CreateSpace's 10–24 hour review process. By the time we'd gone five rounds, I'd long terminated any remaining emotional connections to this novel.
"It was the horrible never-ending oscillation between hope & despair which I could not longer have endured without the total loss of reason." -- Edgar Allan Poe
And last night, a copy of my book landed in my hands.
But every time I try to read it for errors, my brain shuts down. The words will not process. Likely, I'm defending myself—if I can't read it, then I can't recognize any catastrophic missteps that need fixing before I publish. If I can't read it, I can't grow to hate it any more.
Whereas the more I look at the cover, the paper, and the artwork from Maudie Rosenberry... The more I open myself up to liking bits of it again.
Earlier, I told my boyfriend Paul, "I don't know. I don't know where I am. I think I killed so much of myself this week that my software is having trouble booting up again."
But I'll receive another proof on Monday, November 2.
If all goes well—if that proof hypnotizes me like this one—I'll be able to approve everything for print.
And maybe someone really will fall asleep reading my book, despite the potential for some twisted dreams.
(EDIT: Except, it's Saturday night, and I just found some internal and content errors that need fixing. So, I have to go through the File Review process again, and order a THIRD physical proof. I'm glad I found them, but... it's YET ANOTHER delay. I swear this paperback should be out by the end of the week, folks!)