In August 2022, I returned to graduate school after a decade away from collegiate study. When I graduated with my Master's degree in 2013, I swore I would never seek another degree. But after several years in the workforce, a pandemic lockdown, and a self-destructing journey as a self-published fantasy author, I knew I needed to find my way back into writing.

I applied to the UNO Creative Writing Workshop MFA program, and I asked to concentrate in poetry rather than in fiction, the genre I considered—at the time—my lifelong passion.

With only twelve hours of coursework (nearly) completed, I count this among the best decisions I've made.

Over the last year, I have read all the material assigned to me—an uncharacteristic feat, for those who knew me well in prior journeys through higher education (or secondary education) (or... primary... education...)—and I have spent hours writing and revising poems, plays, and response papers. I've completed all my work early rather than starting it late. I skipped out on fun times with friends and loved ones, and I spent approximately 180 hours in class rather than with my husband. (And, yes, unrelated, I did get married!) I have made new friends and rediscovered old obsessions.

More importantly, I have admitted to myself that I was always a poet. And though my full-time job means I can only attend classes part-time, though my first year amounted to a first semester for the traditional graduate student, I can sincerely admit that the six hours a week in class are often the best six hours of the week.

I love this. I hope I continue to love this.

​And I am proud that I finally feel actively dedicated to what I am learning.

After years of reflection, I have decided to discontinue sales of Bless the Skies across all platforms and permanently shelve its unfinished sequel. There are irresolvable problems with both books, and whatever pride I may feel about the sentences I wrote is eclipsed by my shame regarding both what I included and what I left out.

While I have never made a profit from this novel, and profit was not a concern or a goal at the time of publication, I no longer wish to see the book distributed or sold. Too much of my ignorance is on painful display.

Anyone who purchased a digital copy of Bless the Skies will retain access to their copy. I know there were and are people who enjoyed the book, and I am not trying to erase it from my history. The book’s pages on Goodreads and on my website will remain intact.

However, the following disclaimer will be added where possible:

The author has discontinued all promotion and distribution of “Bless the Skies.” This page remains active strictly for archival purposes.

Though I do not wish to itemize or argue my reasons for the book’s removal, I felt I owed at least this much explanation to all those who supported me with emotional, intellectual, and physical labor throughout the writing and publication process.

Thank you for all that you did—if I ever try this again, hopefully I can be prouder of the product.

When quarantine madness keeps me awake into the dark A.M. hours between "late" and "early," I entertain myself by watching YouTube video essays, updating my resume (just for the fun of formatting a Word document—truly), or delving into the recesses of my digital folders for hidden and forgotten treasures.

Last night, I found this pair of old poems from my unlikely-to-be-published chapbook of poetry. They were not written for the quarantine treadmill of productivity and despair, but hoooo-eeey, do they feel applicable.

​Enjoy! ..."Enjoy"?

A long time ago, I read voraciously.

My passion for reading dwindled when I reached college. Correlation rarely dictates causation, and in this case, it's absurd to think that seeking a degree in English "ruined" my taste for reading. It certainly never soured my taste for writing.

Nonetheless, I stopped reading. Not in a determined way or a permanent way or even a continuous way, but I read far fewer books than in the past.

​Recently, while struggling with the quality of my writing and with my lack of motivation, I came to terms with something: I first fell in love with words and stories through reading, not writing. And if I mean to continue growing as a writer and storyteller—well, I have to recommit to regular reading, then, don't I?

Therefore, I reinstate my #JELreviews series!

​Be warned: I am a forgiving reviewer. When you come here, you will not find me eviscerating novels. I’ll point out what I liked and what I didn’t like, and I’ll anchor everything in my opinion, rather than some self-ordained concept of what is “good” or “bad.”

I also plan to break each review into two sections: one for those who haven’t read the book, and one for those who have read the book. I’ll rate (1) characters, (2) prose, and (3) plot through two lenses: entertainment and literature. (Basically, how I felt about it while I was reading, and how I felt about it after I'd thought about what I was reading.)

That being said, on to #JELreviews!

Do you find yourself scribbling lists everywhere, only to lose the lists? Do you curse the amount of time you waste on Facebook? Do you wish you could motivate yourself to read more, write more, think more?

Are you trying to track the fluctuations in your mood and identify which activities contribute positively and negatively?

Have I got a list for you!

(Do internet article introductions remind you of sleasy car salesmen? Have I got an intro for you!) Ahem.

Please note: I operate all the below software through Windows and/or Android. Apple users, you'll need to research what's available for you.

If you return to my website daily and obsessively refresh the pages—not that I’d ever participate in such neurotic behavior—you’ll have noticed a new hierarchy in the main navigation.

I am happy to announce that anyone can ask for my help with writing and editing!

I’ve listed my various services and a test run of prices, compiled from online research and a lifetime of experience tweaking people’s words. These prices may be set in stone one day, but for now, I’m willing to negotiate depending on a client’s circumstances.

After years of plying my trade in semi-secret, I’d love to attract a new client or two. Every dollar helps to expand my publication budget, after all!

​I’m also submitting blogs and articles to digital magazines, and I’m aggressively pursuing publication for my poetry and short stories in literary journals/small presses. Why? Why now?
​

1. I miss the thrill of a byline.
2. I want to expand my portfolio.
3. I relish the thought of additional income. (Who doesn't?)

I’ve already received a commitment from one website to publish an article!

As I work to explore new venues of publication, I hope you’ll consider requesting my help with your projects.

​To start, some context. I believe records of the written and spoken word often lack context, prompting misunderstanding and misinformation. Context is the difference between (1) cursing out the vile, malicious, reprehensible degenerate who cut you off in traffic, and (2) ignoring your uncharacteristic mistake when you cut off the next car—because you’re late for a job interview, you need rent money, and you’re still shaken up about that horrendous monster who nearly merged into you.
 
For this reason, I begin my post not where it begins, but with a few contextualizing statements.
 
This post will focus on the villain-figure in my dark fantasy novel Bless the Skies. The character's traits and characteristics will be discussed in detail, independently of the story, without mentioning or spoiling the plot.

​As I finished Bless the Skies, I faced a decision: to seek publication traditionally or to publish the book myself.
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So many factors warred and balanced in my mind, but two ideas floated above the battle—untouched and uncontested.

• After constructing this story mentally for over a decade, I needed to be in complete control of the final product.
  
  
• I anticipated that traditional publication for future stories might become more feasible if I’d already worked to prove my value and attracted an audience through self-publication.
  
  

Those were the reasons I actively decided to self-publish. However, it would be an obscene lie to say I did it all myself. Many, many people helped me, and I’d caution any writer attempting to accomplish publication "alone."