As a poet who moves about in the world, I talk to non-poets—friends, co-workers, relatives, strangers at bars—more than I talk to poets, and when our conversation turns toward my study of creative writing, I find that my non-poet companions will usually have similar questions:

• An MFA? But don't you already have a Master's? Why not just get a PhD?
• What are you going to do with that? When you graduate?
• "Revision"? What do you mean? Poetry is feelings, you can't revise feelings!
• But that poem is already published! Why would you still be revising it?

The first two questions are easily answered!

(1) Unlike a Master's, an MFA is a terminal degree, meaning it is the highest level of study available in its field. Creative writing MFA programs focus on the craft and mechanics of writing. PhD programs focus on the industry of scholarship surrounding writing. They are different things, different modes of study, and I wanted to improve my creative writing, not my academic writing—which could certainly stand to be improved, but isn't where my interests lie. PhD programs aim to produce scholars. MFA programs aim to produce artists. Both pursuits are critical, and the Venn diagram is closer to one circle than to two, but the distinction nonetheless exists, and it has meaning.

(2) When I graduate, I hope to be a better writer with more connections to other writers; I enrolled in the program to be in the program, not to graduate from it! Sometimes, when people choose to learn something, they are motivated specifically by a desire to learn, rather than by a desire to capitalize on the "proof" of that learning. Sometimes, we do things just because they're enjoyable! What are you going to do with all those movies you've watched, huh? With all that music you've loved? How is your favorite song going to help you get promoted, bucko? You've spent so much time listening to it! What are you going to do with that song? (Even if your favorite song does help you connect with your boss and pave the way for a promotion, is THAT the REASON you LOVED IT?!)

Ahem. Of course, 99% of people asking these questions ask them in good faith and genuine interest! I do not direct my sarcasm toward any of them!

The questions about revision take more time to answer—but they are also more interesting. In fact, I cannot stop thinking about my answers. And I've learned that whenever I can't stop thinking about something, I need to write about it.

So. What does it mean to revise a poem? And why do poets revise?

Welcome to a unique installment of my #JELreviews series!

In the past, I exclusively reviewed novels, splitting my reviews into two separate sections: one for those who hadn't read the books, and one for those who had. I was a forgiving reviewer, largely celebrating and contemplating rather than critiquing. One day, perhaps I will return to that format!

Today, I'd like to discuss the first issue of Audi Locus, a new journal featuring poetry, art, and music, recently founded by my dear friends Maudie Bryant and Brandon Bowman. Given my longstanding connection to the editors, we can certainly consider this #JELpromotes as much as #JELreviews, but my opinions and analysis will be no less honest and earnest for my connection!

With that context established, on to #JELreviews!

In August 2022, I returned to graduate school after a decade away from collegiate study. When I graduated with my Master's degree in 2013, I swore I would never seek another degree. But after several years in the workforce, a pandemic lockdown, and a self-destructing journey as a self-published fantasy author, I knew I needed to find my way back into writing.

I applied to the UNO Creative Writing Workshop MFA program, and I asked to concentrate in poetry rather than in fiction, the genre I considered—at the time—my lifelong passion.

With only twelve hours of coursework (nearly) completed, I count this among the best decisions I've made.

Over the last year, I have read all the material assigned to me—an uncharacteristic feat, for those who knew me well in prior journeys through higher education (or secondary education) (or... primary... education...)—and I have spent hours writing and revising poems, plays, and response papers. I've completed all my work early rather than starting it late. I skipped out on fun times with friends and loved ones, and I spent approximately 180 hours in class rather than with my husband. (And, yes, unrelated, I did get married!) I have made new friends and rediscovered old obsessions.

More importantly, I have admitted to myself that I was always a poet. And though my full-time job means I can only attend classes part-time, though my first year amounted to a first semester for the traditional graduate student, I can sincerely admit that the six hours a week in class are often the best six hours of the week.

I love this. I hope I continue to love this.

​And I am proud that I finally feel actively dedicated to what I am learning.

After years of reflection, I have decided to discontinue sales of Bless the Skies across all platforms and permanently shelve its unfinished sequel. There are irresolvable problems with both books, and whatever pride I may feel about the sentences I wrote is eclipsed by my shame regarding both what I included and what I left out.

While I have never made a profit from this novel, and profit was not a concern or a goal at the time of publication, I no longer wish to see the book distributed or sold. Too much of my ignorance is on painful display.

Anyone who purchased a digital copy of Bless the Skies will retain access to their copy. I know there were and are people who enjoyed the book, and I am not trying to erase it from my history. The book’s pages on Goodreads and on my website will remain intact.

However, the following disclaimer will be added where possible:

The author has discontinued all promotion and distribution of “Bless the Skies.” This page remains active strictly for archival purposes.

Though I do not wish to itemize or argue my reasons for the book’s removal, I felt I owed at least this much explanation to all those who supported me with emotional, intellectual, and physical labor throughout the writing and publication process.

Thank you for all that you did—if I ever try this again, hopefully I can be prouder of the product.

When quarantine madness keeps me awake into the dark A.M. hours between "late" and "early," I entertain myself by watching YouTube video essays, updating my resume (just for the fun of formatting a Word document—truly), or delving into the recesses of my digital folders for hidden and forgotten treasures.

Last night, I found this pair of old poems from my unlikely-to-be-published chapbook of poetry. They were not written for the quarantine treadmill of productivity and despair, but hoooo-eeey, do they feel applicable.

​Enjoy! ..."Enjoy"?

A long time ago, I read voraciously.

My passion for reading dwindled when I reached college. Correlation rarely dictates causation, and in this case, it's absurd to think that seeking a degree in English "ruined" my taste for reading. It certainly never soured my taste for writing.

Nonetheless, I stopped reading. Not in a determined way or a permanent way or even a continuous way, but I read far fewer books than in the past.

​Recently, while struggling with the quality of my writing and with my lack of motivation, I came to terms with something: I first fell in love with words and stories through reading, not writing. And if I mean to continue growing as a writer and storyteller—well, I have to recommit to regular reading, then, don't I?

Therefore, I reinstate my #JELreviews series!

​Be warned: I am a forgiving reviewer. When you come here, you will not find me eviscerating novels. I’ll point out what I liked and what I didn’t like, and I’ll anchor everything in my opinion, rather than some self-ordained concept of what is “good” or “bad.”

I also plan to break each review into two sections: one for those who haven’t read the book, and one for those who have read the book. I’ll rate (1) characters, (2) prose, and (3) plot through two lenses: entertainment and literature. (Basically, how I felt about it while I was reading, and how I felt about it after I'd thought about what I was reading.)

That being said, on to #JELreviews!

Do you find yourself scribbling lists everywhere, only to lose the lists? Do you curse the amount of time you waste on Facebook? Do you wish you could motivate yourself to read more, write more, think more?

Are you trying to track the fluctuations in your mood and identify which activities contribute positively and negatively?

Have I got a list for you!

(Do internet article introductions remind you of sleasy car salesmen? Have I got an intro for you!) Ahem.

Please note: I operate all the below software through Windows and/or Android. Apple users, you'll need to research what's available for you.

If you return to my website daily and obsessively refresh the pages—not that I’d ever participate in such neurotic behavior—you’ll have noticed a new hierarchy in the main navigation.

I am happy to announce that anyone can ask for my help with writing and editing!

I’ve listed my various services and a test run of prices, compiled from online research and a lifetime of experience tweaking people’s words. These prices may be set in stone one day, but for now, I’m willing to negotiate depending on a client’s circumstances.

After years of plying my trade in semi-secret, I’d love to attract a new client or two. Every dollar helps to expand my publication budget, after all!

​I’m also submitting blogs and articles to digital magazines, and I’m aggressively pursuing publication for my poetry and short stories in literary journals/small presses. Why? Why now?
​

1. I miss the thrill of a byline.
2. I want to expand my portfolio.
3. I relish the thought of additional income. (Who doesn't?)

I’ve already received a commitment from one website to publish an article!

As I work to explore new venues of publication, I hope you’ll consider requesting my help with your projects.